


Unbearable Breathing

by Kare (Powrhug), Powrhug



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-02
Updated: 2011-12-02
Packaged: 2017-10-26 18:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/286751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Powrhug/pseuds/Kare, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Powrhug/pseuds/Powrhug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loving Steve was like breathing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unbearable Breathing

There were times Danny wanted to be less mature, less nurturing, and ask for something in return...a hand...a shoulder...someone to take care of him instead of the always reverse.

But he'd grown into the role since becoming a Dad, and it was hard to transition to admitting need.

So he loved from afar, wanted from even further, and he covered any pain he felt with laughing eyes, quick sarcasm, and a well-placed rant.

It was safer to let everyone see what he wanted them to see.

Danny hadn’t planned on someone like Steve barging into his life. Steve looked at him like he saw, really saw, what Danny tried so hard to hide, and that was unnerving and irritating and perfect in a way he didn’t know was possible.

“Breathe.”

He had to keep telling himself that. Just breathe and it’ll be okay.

The finding out scared him more than anything else ever had. More than being shot at his first week on the job. More than Rachel going into labor before he even had a chance to map out the route to the hospital. More than the incident at the pier that made him promise himself he’d never go in the water again.

Finding out Steve knew was all of that and too much more.

He didn’t let himself think about it too often. But sometimes his body had a way of betraying him. Like when it was late at night and his hand became Steve’s hand, gliding in a rhythm that had never been his own. Unfamiliar and rougher, but slow like rolling waves. His whole being balanced on unspoken words, Steve’s voice ragged and raw urging him to come undone. And he would.

Danny knew it was fucked up, but it was his reality, and the only way he could make it through the night. He was pretty sure he hadn’t jacked off this much since he was a preteen. Before Tammy Matthews found him, or he found her (point taken). Before he found his brother’s stash of Hustler (classy guy that he was). Before he found his sister’s stash of Playgirl, too (which had been both traumatic and insightful on so many different levels it wasn’t even funny).

But he honestly thought he could handle the purely physical need if it wasn’t for the other. The other scared the crap out of him. The other made him think of Steve constantly. What was he thinking? Would he like this restaurant? Did he notice this tie brought out the color of his eyes? Swear to god, it was that bad.

Danny only thought Steve was crazy, but Danny knew he was. Certifiable. But only when it came to a certain pain in the ass who saw too much, knew too much, and had become the increasingly, insanely insane center of his life. Outside of Gracie of course. And it didn’t help that she was crushing on Steve as well. Even that couldn’t be simple and easy. Because it would make his life less out-and-out complicated if she didn’t like the man he loved.

He’d at least then have an imperfection to focus on that would make it make sense not to like Steve. Love even. Although he avoided that word so he could pretend it wasn’t so real. Because that’s all he needed in life, to be head-over-fucking-heels in love with this crazy, badass, certifiable, infuriating, completely wonderful, big-hearted, perfection of a man. Who Gracie adored. Fine. Whatever.

There were times Danny wanted to be less mature, less nurturing, and ask for something in return...Steve’s hand...Steve’s shoulder...Steve to take care of him, and the reverse as well.

It took him one year, four months, two days, three hours, and a lifetime of seconds to let Steve know that he was right about what he saw. And that it was more than okay, it was perfect and complicated in all the right ways.

Loving Steve was like breathing.

He just needed to remind himself it was okay to breathe.

 

~end~

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LiveJournal 1/14/11


End file.
